“Everything is Fresh”
The numbskull at the Lucky’s Donut shop stared blankly at me. The least inspired statement I’d heard all week. I’d asked what I perceive to be a fair question at any establishment preparing baked goods or pastries, “What is Fresh”. This. This answer is at the core of much of the withering of societal fortitude. How can EVERYTHING be fresh? You mean to say that every donut in this place, the long john, the creme brulee glazed the caramel blood orange bismark is all made miraculously at the exact same time? This is the customer service equivalent of telling someone to Fuck Off.
Listen, it’s all fair that your local independent bakery is charging $7.50 for a donut but if you can’t help me decipher which item is a soft, pillowy sugar cloud that will evaporate on my palate and one which has the mouth feel of a decaying dish sponge we, humanity, is at a cross roads. It’s not this poor soul’s fault, they’ve been beaten into submission by bad customers and send backs and macadamia nut milk altercations but what I won’t stand for is another human being’s inability to reflect another’s genuine enthusiasm for their product. An average baked good that’s fresh out of the oven is 10x better than any great product that is a day old. This is not a question to be taken lightly.
PS: 20% or 25% Tip?
-R
